“I think my shoe melted”–I yelled to Donnie. “I can still walk, thankfully the freezing wind immediately re-solidified it, but it’s not exactly comfortable.”
It was cold, real cold. Except when we happened to walk over the grates, then a scorching hot spray of air would pound through our bodies.
Donnie turned around without stopping.
“So you’re fine?” he yelled back.
“I guess–WATCH OUT!”
Another hot spray came from right under him, for a moment he was completely hidden by the vapor.
“Thank god,” he coughed, “I was just starting to get chilly.” He turned around again without a flinch, still marching.
He really might be the stupidest motherfucker alive– I realized –and yet alive he is.
That was the only thing that kept me going. I have to admit, from the moment we set foot outside the factory, every ounce of confidence I had started slipping away with every meatball. And those were now long gone.
Sometimes I poked my head out of my coat to take a glance around us, but that also didn’t help. It wasn’t so much the black sky–you get used to that–nor the enormous number of factories–we all knew they were quickly replacing all the farms. It was the distance. Every factory seemed to be so far away from the next one, so disconnected from the other. It made me realize it had probably been years since I’d taken a walk around the block.
That was because, back in our factory, we actually had a neighbour: Dell.
When I first got there, there were two of them, but for the life of me I can’t remember the other person’s name. I can’t even recall if it was a guy or a gal. Anyway, at some point that person left or died, I forget, and another one was supposed to arrive and help Dell. No one ever came, and Dell got stuck in his factory doing the job of two people. He didn’t seem to mind, the few times I actually got my nose out of our shithole and met him through the fence, he was always friendly and kind. I’m not sure but he may even have gifted us something at some point. I never understood why Donnie hated him. Must’ve been some beef from before I got there, because whenever I tried to talk to him about what Dell had said to me, or what I had seen him do, the only responses from Donnie were some angry mumbling and insults to the guy.
Anyway, our factory was now behind us, and so was Dell. Sure enough, when he saw us leave with our coats and meatballs he realized we were departing, and came to the fence to say goodbye and wish us good luck.
“I hope you break your back and fucking die here,” were Donnie’s departing words. He didn’t even deign to come near the fence, let alone stop by or look him in the eyes. Dell kept his unflinching smile, all I could do was quickly thank him and then I had to go, for I didn’t want to be left behind.
And there I was, following Donnie through the humongous freezing space in between factories, black sky upon us.
I looked at the back of his head, bobbing with his long stride.
He’s like a demented shepherd guiding a one-sheep herd. What does that say about the sheep, I wonder?
He stopped, I wasn’t exactly close to him, and he knelt down.
“Look at this!”–he yapped happily–“Water!”
“In a puddle?”
“Yeah, it’s not even that black!”
“Fuck, I would not drink that,” I was so distant that I started running towards him, “there’s every kind of toxic factory waste around–” the instant I realized I was stepping on metal, the hot spray got me. Through the grate came the hottest and longest spray so far, for a second I thought I would pass out.
“FUUUUUCK!” I yelled with whatever air I had left in my lungs, “Fuck this! What the fuck is even down there?!”
I coughed a couple times, finally I could breathe.
Donnie was on his knees, hands cupped, lapping up that insanely dirty water, as blissful as one can be.
“You want some?” he slurped.
“Whatever,” I knelt down, studying the water, trying to convince myself it didn’t look that bad.
Unfortunately–or maybe not–the taste was too much for me. I tried to scoop away some dirt but I ended up just making a mess on my coat.
“SHIT! Look!” he yelled.
“What, what?” I studied the puddle, panicking, “did you see something swim in it?”
“Not the puddle, the Cave!” he sounded ecstatic, “I see it!”
I stood up immediately, my eyes following where Donnie was pointing. I couldn’t make it out at first, it looked like clouds or something, but then I saw it. The tip, at least.
I can’t believe it.
That was my first thought. I’m not sure why, I’m not one to believe in conspiracies, I mean, I knew it existed. But actually seeing it, that was what finally made it real.
I have to say, I’m now starting to think that Donnie went through the same thought process. I had never seen him so baffled, meaning that it took him more than one second to recompose himself and resume the walk. It took him at least five seconds.
And so again he was marching, my demented shepherd, with his one-sheep herd behind him. And maybe that was the reason for my surprise. Not much the existence of the Cave, I knew that alright, but the fact that, maybe for the first time, it looked to me like Donnie knew where he was going.